Festivus in May!

Any Seinfeld fan will remember Festivus - an alternative to Christmas with all of its gift-giving and consumerism. My favorite part is the Airing of Grievances. While I would absolutely hate it in practice, in theory it's freakin' awesome!

So I'm going to bring a little anonymous Festivus to my blog today...

We end each spring semester with a cookout for the employees at our campus. It's a pretty awesome event and I am (mostly) happy to play hostess and help with the serving line. But there are always a couple of things that chap my ass each year:

1. Since you're on your 2nd or 3rd round at the food, perhaps you could relieve one of the folks who has been serving food for the last hour and a half.
2. No, you cannot get your bun grilled. Just on principle. Glad you're a part of the team, though!
3. We're really not all that into grilling to your specification. We're going medium well to well done. You'll like it. Promise!
4. Oh, you're the group that never helps out with anything on campus and you're the first in line? WELCOME!
5. Yes, you really are limited to one burger and hot dog. There are 150 people behind you who might like a little something to eat.

And then there are the folks who consistently don't pull their weight. I can totally get having a off-day, but I'm talking about having an off-year. Or worse, an off-career. So it's your responsibility to plan an event. You host a planning meeting, take notes - or at least write a bunch of shit down. Yet t-minus 4 business days before the event you haven't: ordered food, ordered linens, created programs, checked on headcount, checked on the availability of door prizes, thought about decorations... and then you're going to spend the whole EFFING day of the event talking about how you think you forgot something? And then lament on the poor turnout the following day, and then not share the credit to the folks (not me - other awesome people) who made sure your event wasn't a total flop because they took care of ALL of the above-mentioned tasks?! Please. Don't talk to me. Don't look in my direction. Don't speak another word. For at least a week. Because I am likely to point out the 4,234 ways your incompetence is pissing me off. And while I'm no parent and don't claim to know anything about parenting, I'm willing to bet that saying "No" to your kid just ONCE might be a healthy thing.

On the whole, though, I work with amazing people. Most of them are amazing, dedicated folks, and even the one person I totally can't stand is an awesome instructor. She's just a dreadful colleague. They all have hearts for seeing their students take on challenges and succeed. They all want to learn to do their jobs in different, better ways. They want personal as well as academic successes for their students. And I LOVE that. Even if they want toasted buns.